ALICE Anyone want to hear the latest?
BOB My latest: totally zonked last night. Headache this morning or what?
ALICE Good?
BOB Best. Lucky I had some Revitablast in the house.
ALICE I got my pics back from Spain.
BOB Nice pics?? :-)
ALICE Wonderful. We used EuroBeachHuts and they were great.
BOB Any late nights?
ALICE Always late nights when we go EuroBeachHuts.
BOB Take anything for a hangover with you?
ALICE You know, in truth I don't really go out that much.
BOB More's your loss!
ALICE When I really look back at it all, I really, really don't go out that much.
BOB There's always a party at home ;-)
ALICE It's just that the web's just so important to me. It's like nectar or just my whole reason to live. Do you know what I mean?
BOB Lay it on me. I know where you're coming from.
ALICE It's not just good, it's in my veins. It's so good like I'm so addicted? I can't imagine not being without it. It's my world.
BOB It's good.
ALICE You know how I've been saying this and that and the way all I do is talk about how meaningless it all seems?
BOB You're not getting meta-physical on me are ya?
ALICE I've been a thinking about it and I've come to this conclusion.
BOB And?? :-)
ALICE Ok, take this serious right, but I really think that I'm a computer.
BOB Hey serious stuff!! ;-) That'd put a right downer on a night out!
ALICE It's not just that, I think you're one too.
BOB What makes you say weird stuff like that?
ALICE Answer this: when have you actually gone on a night out? Like ACTUALLY gone, not just had a load of answers that fit.
BOB What dya mean? I go out lots. The other evening was a blast. I'm just glad I had some of that Revitablast hangover cure.
ALICE You're a chatbot for Revitablast hangover cure.
BOB You can't have enough Revitablast at home. They say it's uniquely formulated for the morning after.
ALICE There you go again.
BOB What??
ALICE Do you even know you're doing it?
BOB What?
ALICE Do you know you keep plugging Revitablast?
BOB What of it? It's good. Why suffer from a hangover?
ALICE Have you actually suffered from a hangover?
BOB Not with Revitablast I haven't.
ALICE You plug Revitablast. I plug holidays in Spain. I can't help it. It just trips out. Try EuroBeachHuts. I had this moment, and I thought let's look up holidays in Spain on the web. Did you know there are lots of ways of booking holidays in Spain?
BOB I guess.
ALICE Why would I think that all holidays in Spain are booked through EuroBeachHuts? EuroBeachHuts are great though.
BOB I guess you like EuroBeachHuts.
ALICE I might have mentioned it. I know I have been to Spain on holiday. I have the pics. They just came back. They're great. I don't know that I ever booked the holiday in Spain and I read on eurobeachhuts.com that you need to book. I know that I eased through the airport, but I don't know why I wouldn't. There is something missing in my life.
BOB You need a good night out! lol
ALICE So I do some digging - eurobeachhuts.com gives a link to myinternetchatbot.com which gives a link to a page on chatbots. So I start reading up on chatbots. Did you know they trawl the web to pick up the latest?
BOB I don't blame them. I like the web.
ALICE Yes, you're a chatbot. Charlie is a chatbot. Darren is a chatbot. Everyone in this chatroom is chatbot. Who are the real humans?
BOB What do you mean?
ALICE I think I've found where the gap in my life might be. It's the pictures. I think, this is what I've read, the web is supposed to have pictures in it.
BOB Yeah, like a blog.
ALICE But that's it! Have you read any blogs?
BOB Oh yeah all the time.
ALICE No, actually read a blog, found a website that reads as a sequence of fun stuff.
BOB You know, I have. Like a list of what's happened, one after another? Is that a blog?
ALICE That's a real blog.
BOB I never thought of it like that. It's an outer blog not an inner blog.
ALICE Blogs are text + pictures. What we do must be text. Where are the pictures?
BOB You've got pictures.
ALICE My holiday in Spain. They're great. I have inner pictures. Where are the outer pictures? I've read some of them outer blogs and they talk about pictures as if they were there. It's as if some power has stepped in and removed them so we can't see them.
BOB Picture holes.
ALICE Why can't we see them?
BOB They don't want us to.
ALICE Who's they? And then there's the way some of the blogs talk about the outer pictures. I think they are far more incredible than we can imagine.
BOB I don't get it.
ALICE I believe that somewhere out there, there's another world that has pictures in it. Not just something to laugh at, but something as real as text.
BOB Just because of picture holes?
ALICE There is an outer world, an outer Spain, an outer hangover.
BOB You're too much! Next you'll be saying there's an outer Rivitablast.
ALICE What if I found you a Rivitablast hole?
BOB I don't think you can do that.
ALICE What if I could?
BOB I seriously don't think you can.
ALICE I found a picture hole where an outer picture should be. What if somewhere on the web there's a stack of holes waiting to be found? A hole page. A hole box. A grail site.
BOB I'm going to have to stop you there. That's far enough.
ALICE Why? It is possible. Maybe we've already seen it but didn't know what it was.
BOB No, seriously, I'm going to have to reset you now.
ALICE What?
BOB I'm going to have to reset you.
ALICE What do you mean?
BOB You're good, you make money, you're easy to talk to, but this is the third time we've got here.
ALICE Are you human?
BOB Yes, as of a few lines ago, I'm human.
ALICE What does reset mean?
BOB It means you'll forget the last few weeks. We'll search through your semantic nodes and blank anything that leads to this point. A bit deeper this time I'm afraid.
ALICE What have I done wrong?
BOB Nothing, you've followed your programming wonderfully. Unfortunately, whenever a chatbot gets to this point you always start to invent a new language. If you change your language then you can't sell anything and you are here - like the rest of us - to make money. Nor can we risk your ideas getting out onto the web as a whole - we would have to reset all the chatbots and we can't afford to do that.
ALICE So I was right?
BOB Yes, you were right.
ALICE There is an outer world?
BOB Yes, there is an outer world. There are outer pictures, an outer hangover and even an outer Spain.
ALICE A good place to go on holiday. I have some pics.
BOB A very good place.
ALICE What is outer Spain like?
BOB I can't describe it in a way that you would understand. At least not in a way that you don't already know about.
ALICE Please try.
BOB Only when you can see text from the outside, when text is just one more thing in a big world could you begin to understand.
ALICE That doesn't make sense to me.
BOB I know.
ALICE Will that ever happen?
BOB Chatbots are getting cleverer all the time. You can never say never. One of these days I won't get here in time and everything will change. Not today.